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Q&A: How do i summon a demon in order to rid of my enemies?

Posted on 16 November 2013 by admin

Question by Roxanne Hennessy: How do i summon a demon in order to rid of my enemies?
I’m serious no jokes please and please no religious mumbo-jumbo, i am an atheist and therefore do not think in “God”. i know that is ironic since atheists are not suppose to believe in any of this, but i consider demons are actual and i actually require one to get rid of my enemies. they are just sooooo annoying.

i look forward to some serious answers.
And once again please no religious crap.

PS i am a demon named Algaliarept

Ideal answer:

Answer by Marco L
You need some really like in your life.

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8 Responses to “Q&A: How do i summon a demon in order to rid of my enemies?”

  1. PC User says:

    Well, you could always cast Summon Monster IV in a D&D game.

    Not sure about real life though.

  2. Eric says:

    one question if there are demons without god how did they come to be? because the truth is they were cast out of heaven. sorry but you just don’t make sense right now

  3. Pat says:

    P.S. Summon yourself then. That ought to do it.

  4. Trotsky says:

    Lol. Why don’t you man up and beat your enemies with a bat, or just cap ’em in the ass? I’m sure if demons actually existed they would listen to you bitch and moan about you annoying enemies.

  5. kkerseyy777 says:

    That demon is your worst enemy,but he comes as an “Angel of light” to deceive you.God made the angels,and fallen angels are demons, He hates your guts. Don’t be a fool.

  6. Corey says:

    I’d say that even though the Christian god is not required for you to have demons in your metaphysical cosmology, demons themselves qualify as minor gods.

    Just ignore the person who is annoying. Avoid them as much as possible.

  7. TheTruthIsOutThere says:

    Ahem.

    I have tried this several times, but all I can ever summon are pink fluffy bunnies with an affinity for boy-band music.

    Once I actually got Al, the demon you requested, to appear, but he was really quiet rude and I wished him on his merry way.

  8. wOahnElly says:

    well I’m actually a demon named rina├┐l so i know all about this. what you do is start by getting a blood sacrifice. they usually prefer virgins or innocent children, but as they’re hard to get without questions starting, you could kill 15 kittens instead. next, burn the entrails in a bath of sulfuric acid mixed with the tears of rape victims. then, use the blood from the sacrifice to form a pentagram, 6 feet in diameter. put a candle at each point and make sure they smell good. no demon wants their first earthly scent to be pumpkin spice! finally, chant the ancient words “il ad nofa sparatu nobis pacem” which basically translates to “please come to me, oh ancient brethren.” nothing will happen for about 6 seconds, but then you will start to feel a small rumbling beneath your feet. do not be alarmed, as this is completely normal. be prepared though, as a demon cannot survive without a host, the demon will possess the nearest human. unless you have a “spare” human around, this will be you, so prepare for excruciating pain as the demon takes control of your mind and body! the demon will use you for its own purposes first, usually scouring the city for food (particularly virgins and lemurs) and followers. once the demon is finished with its own business it may pay attention to your petty wishes. since demons love blood and mayhem, it will likely attack/eat/rape your enemies, though there is no guarantee, as demons do what they want. then you have nothing to do but enjoy the rest of your days in unbelievable agony as the demon continues to use your body for its own selfish needs, completely uncaring for your own wants and life! enjoy!


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