can an individual please support proof read my paper? and make some suggestions? thank you.?
Posted on 15 March 2012 by smokeandtoke6123
Query by PrincessMida: can someone please help evidence examine my paper? and make some suggestions? thank you.?
The content should remain the exact same, but i know i need to have some re wording.
Above the past several many years there have been a lot of debates on no matter whether or not marijuana must grow to be legal. In the “Marijuana’s new large life” it talks about how marijuana has turn into so mainstream through Tv shows this kind of as “Weeds, “True Blood” like but nevertheless not restricted to “Desperate Housewives” and properly as films for illustration “Pineapple Express.” These movies and exhibits are producing it more socially acceptable, but creating scenes with marijuana comical. Last June in Los Angeles 25,000 individuals attended the THC convention which threw 1000′s of dollars into the neighborhood financial system, and there are previously plans for another next year. While marijuana is even now illegal it appears as if it weren’t with joints currently being passed close to in style-insider events, and smoke coming from restaurant patios and vehicles along with the smell pouring off individuals walking all around.
Twenty years ago the thought of smoking marijuana was unjustifiable in 1987 Ronald Regan nominated Douglass H. Ginsburg to replace the Supreme Court justice, for the duration of questioning the topic of marijuana was brought up and publically embarrassed Ginsburg. In 2009 it looks as however President Obama is part to blame in generating marijuana far more socially acceptable buy the public. Janice Hann, a Los Angeles council lady advised that folks need to have to invent new techniques of raising funds for marijuana, following individuals in Oakland approved an increase of tax on medicinal marijuana.
Marijuana is currently being accepted far more and far more as the years go by, simply because of television plans and movies. Last year at Farmers Industry on 3rd street and Fairfax Ave. “Pineapple Express” utilised a billboard which puffed out fake marijuana smoke into the air for an advertisement, hundreds of individuals were able to see the billboard and exactly where subconsciously implanted with the thought that marijuana use is ok. Cheech and Chong which was a 70’s stoner-slacker comedy and broadly known during the nation is making a comeback by type of animation. Season 5 of the Tv show “Weeds” promoted the new season by putting billboards up during active Los Angeles city , and covering public bus’ with posters. Robert Thompson, a professor of tv and pop culture, believes that producers scriptwriters and directors of motion pictures and shows should have marijuana customers at a single point in their life or could still be and that’ s why it is not surprising to see the use of marijuana come up in so many tv shows and motion pictures. Texas Representative has come out to say he supports reducing the punishment for possession of marijuana.
Utilizing and possessing marijuana is nevertheless illegal nationwide unless of course it is utilised for medical functions, below Federal Law it is classified with LSD and the punishment can be a year in prison and a $ 1000 fine. In 2007 872,721 arrests have been produced in the United State for possession. The THC expo held last June brought in $ 400,000, and another a single is becoming planned for April vendors stated they do not make that a lot for standard events. Richard Laermer, media pop culture trend watcher, says that the possibility of marijuana being out there is the child boomers are continuing to celebration all way the into their golden years.
While the use of marijuana is illegal, it is turning out to be a lot more socially acceptable by the standard public by way of the media and watching our preferred actors smoke and talk about marijuana on the huge screen. It seems as though the nation is turning into less and less strict about punishment for the use of marijuana. Prior to we know it, the government will pass a law and find a way to make it legal for every person with out offending individuals of us who disapprove utilizing a drug as a form of entertainment and social activity.
Best solution:
Solution by 3rd_sensible_man
It really is extremely good
one) what is THC? the very first time you use it, use the total word, then after it have (THC). From then on, you can refer to it as THC
two) Robert Thompson, a professor of television and pop culture, believes that producers (insert comma here) scriptwriters…
three) Texas Representative? is that an real person? simply because then you must but their name. So like The Texas representative of ____ stated/announced/stated/publicly stated/what ever you pick (I assume it is a particular person simply because you refer to them as ‘he’
4) Employing and possessing marijuana is nevertheless illegal nationwide unless it is utilized for health-related purposes. Presently under Federal Law it is classified with LSD and… (could be altered to punishable by one many years jail…)
five) The THC expo held final June brought in $ 400,000 really worth of marijuana and an additional 1 is being planned for April. (start off a new sentence) Vendors, however, stated (or claim =P if it hasn’t been verified in the supply you utilized) they really don’t make that considerably for typical occasions.
Other than that extremely very good and educational. Excellent luck ^_^
What do you believe? Solution under!
Tags | individual, paper, Please, proof, read, some, suggestions, Support, thank, you.
Really good start, the bones are there. Some moving around and cleanup suggestions, and a couple of fact corrections. In general, break up your sentences. No more than 2 clauses each.
What is “Marijuana’s new high life”? If it is an article, say: In “Marijuana’s new high life”, an article appearing in the May issue of People Magazine, the author talks about how marijuana has become mainstream through TV shows such as “Weeds, “True Blood”, and “Desperate Housewives”, as well as through movies such as “Pineapple Express.” These movies and shows are making marijuana more socially acceptable by making scenes with it comical. {Reasoning — the TV shows are a list of examples, use the same structure for all of them. Say the author says instead of it says — more active and assertive.
unjustifiable; in — make two complete sentences. Douglas H. Ginsburg has one S. It wasn’t the subject of marijuana that nixed his consideration, it was his use of it as an adult. He wasn’t actually nominated, he withdrew before being submitted to the Senate. SO — Twenty years ago the thought of smoking marijuana was unjustifiable. In 1987 Ronald Regan announced his choice of Douglas H. Ginsburg as a Justice of the Supreme Court . The subject of Ginsburg’s marijuana was brought up and publicly embarrassed Ginsburg, forcing him to withdraw from consideration.
buy the public should be by the public
In 2009 it seems as though President Obama is part to blame in making marijuana more socially acceptable buy the public, — you cite no facts to back this up. Was it his admission he used it in school? Say so. You can’t just say it, you need to support it.
In the next section, split out the political stuff from the entertainment stuff, as separate paragraphs. So the Texas rep (ID him) and the CA tax go together. In the entertainment paragraph, start out general and go to examples. So take the Marijauna becoming more acceptible, followed by Screenwriters sentence, then do the examples. Not sure what to do about the THC convention, it needs an additional thought and its own paragraph. Also explain what it is (The THC Expo is the World’s largest cannabis/hemp product fair). Something about making marijuana commercially acceptable, like plumbing fixtures or cars are.
In your final paragraph, you should only wrap up what you have said already. You need a paragraph for less strict punishment if you put it in the final. Some states have decriminalized weed (MA, Oregon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Places_that_have_decriminalized_non-medical_cannabis_in_the_United_States). Since local cops are the ones enforcing drug laws, making the penalties lower or non-existant and making arrests a low priority. That makes use much more appealing.
Your last sentence is puzzling. This is the first time you express disapproval.
Post again when you get your next draft. Like I said, you have the bones of a great essay.